The Upside and Downside of Christmas

During the year, friends and co-workers tell me how laid back and calm I am. And it's true - that is until December the first. Then I start thinking of all that I want to do and everything that must be accomplished - by me - and I get overwhelmed. My poor brain stops processing normally and takes on a life of its own and controls my rational mind. And my thinking affects my body. I overeat, my eyes twitch, and sometimes my heart pounds way too fast. But enough about me. There are always people worse off. Yesterday I worked as a nurse in the hospital. Many of the patients will be staying through Christmas. Some will be glad to stay there to have a warm shelter and people to be with. They do not have homes where they are loved or wanted. (Why that is is another story.) And some are too sick to leave. Many years ago, we kept a seemingly nice, attractive gray-haired male patient through the Christmas and New Year holidays, but he was quite paranoid and rarely spoke. Why did he need to be there? Safety. It was said that he wanted to kill himself and his wife. He went through the motions of being hospitalized as his intent must have continued to brew in his disturbed head. He stayed til mid-January. Within a few days after his discharge, he made the news for carrying out his plan. Some patients have experienced loss of loved ones during the year and feel guilty or angry or extreme grief or want to join the deceased. Another hospital story had a happier ending. There are times when things just work out well. Two depressed patients, one who used to play piano and one who used to sing were both patients on the unit where there was an old upright piano. With encouragement from staff (me), they got together and played and sang Christmas carols. As they did, they became happier as they remembered good times past when they participated in church choirs and such. There is so much emotion tied up in Christmas.