Decisions and Frustration

When I was a young college student studying art, I found that I most wanted to draw when I was in a bad mood. Maybe it was loneliness or frustration I felt, but when I pressed the charcoal sticks to the drawing paper and came up with some semblance of an identifiable image, I was comforted. I am not a good December person. I get stressed. I could probably use some of that healing charcoal now, but life has moved along and I am at a different place. Today I realized how frustrated I was with my regular job last year this time and how I wanted not to be in the same situation when Christmas rolled around this year, but here I am. Stuck. There has been no change. There are logical reasons why I have stayed and maybe down the road I will be glad, but today I am angry with myself for being uncharacteristically logical. Where is my free spirit? And my faith?