It's still interesting work...

One of my jobs is to interview new patients. I cannot explain why but it seems that when I have two or more in the same day, their stories or problems are strikingly similar. Sometimes I will have back to back alcoholics whose families have threatened never to see them again if they don't get sober. Or women with "emotional dysregulation" who have been cutting themselves to relieve stress. Or overdoses or insulin dependent diabetics or paranoid schizophrenics. Today the special was OCD. One was obsessive enough to need hospitalization and the next was grossly impaired by compulsions calling it "my brain sickness." Sometimes I think the more I know, the less I know. Why are there similarities on the same day? Why this crazy thinking? Sometimes I think I have an individual figured out and want to say...aha! I have the solution! But propriety says I can't say. And would they listen or believe? And how would their lives then change? what would they lose? On other times, I am clueless, but never am I bored. We humans are an interesting lot, and especially these outliers that I see on a regular basis.

Tiny Insects in the Yard

My what big eyes you have.









A spider too tiny for my lens to properly catch.

Some like it hot

I feel cheated if I don't get to enjoy summer's visit, if I am too busy working or don't find the time to appreciate the warmth of the sun or other seasonal gifts. Today I was out, driving from place to place with the windows down. My hair was blowing, I was getting a little sweaty, and I was feeling happy. I am not one to like sameness. How dull is that! Experiencing life on earth includes spending time with the seasons. Though I have come to love January the quiet and peaceful month, I still thrill over summer. OK. OK. So at this point, it is more remembering summers from my younger years that brings the thrill. But that is still a part of me. And I suppose it is the remembered pleasures of short shorts, cold lemonade, laughing with friends, looking for boys, afternoon rain showers, trips to the beach in hot slow cars and smelling the ocean air for the first time that makes me smile to myself. Ahhh summer. The glorious season.

May I present . . .

my first tomato. I am not sure if it a Better Boy or a Rutgers, but when those yummy tomatoes start coming in, it is a happy day!

An American Character

I just read of George Carlin's death. While I don't remember how the words were arranged, I know that I will always remember the gist of his take on "stuff." He was an oft quoted, cultural force who "got" much of the silliness of the human experience, our propensity to self destruct for example. Humanity was "circling the drain," he believed. "If you live long enough and pay attention" (suse) who can argue? That is not new information. We are poor, wretched and blind the Bible tells us. Sadly however, old George missed a vital point. The way out. Since God knew our nature, He realized we needed a Savior, and provided one for us. A lifeline. That is if we choose to grab hold of it. I have no way of knowing if he got this essential truth before his entertaining commentaries were stilled, but his wit will stick around for a while, at least until this generation moves on.

The Bug

I learned a new word last week, hypergraphia, the compulsion to write excessively. I haven't been afflicted it with it lately but I have had "hyper playing with my France pictures" and that has interfered with my usual urge to pen something. People didn't have to urge this shutterbug to "Take plenty of pictures" before my trip to France, but they did. Almost two thousand photos of my French experience are in my computer, and I love looking over them and as I do, I bask in the memories. I wanted to go for so many years and am not quite ready to put it behind me. Too...I keep piddling with my suseinfrance blog, adding pictures and posts instead of returning to this one that I was dedicated to for half a year. I don't think I want to have the full blown problem of hypergraphia, but I do like having a touch of it at times. And hyperphotography? It is a joyful hobby.

Choose to be happy

It is not the circumstances that bring happiness but the way we respond to them, and the response is a choice. If we are not happy and want to be, then we need to change the way we look at our circumstances. My grandmother always said, and I think it is from the Bible, "As a man thinks, so he is." Abraham Lincoln said something like, "A man is about as happy as he makes up his mind to be." Absolutely. Are our responses learned? Were negative responses modeled by adults in charge when were were growing up? If so, we can choose to ditch them and develop new thoughts and perspectives that are good! But if we don't want to be happy, if it feels better to maintain a woe is me personal philosophy, then OK. Accept that the misery is also a choice. But is being miserable a satisfactory way to live? Not usually. So change your thinking. Look at new angles and keep working at it until you have that happy view on life down pat!

The New Granddog

It seems to be the weekend for new family members. This is Mojo, an Irish wolfhound and airedale mix most likely, and Jacob's new object of affection. Though he seems to be of an even temperament, he has plenty of personality, and I see why Paige and Stuart found him so irresistible when they spied him at a dog adoption site. Even though Paige has pictures of him on her blog, I wanted one on mine. Yes. Those are his real eyes. One almost white and one doggie brown. A lot like Tillman's but Mojo can see out of both.

It's like giving birth

The same beautiful tomato bud a few days later.
How amazing to be able to see it change.

I can die happy

I was going to anyway, but having this France experience behind me ensures it! How glad I am to have been there in the flesh. Now that I have recovered, jet lag et al, I am thinking about other places I would like to go, though none compare to my now met desire to go to France. It was great, but as I sit here with my American coffee and biscuit and jelly in place of espresso et croissant, I think America is good too. This is where I was put when I came to earth and with all of its craziness, it is OK with me. What I have seen of this land, our land, it is also magnificent. A USA destination may be my next goal, but this time I take the hubby along. When I was alone in the throngs of people in Paris, I thought how nice it is to have a partner in life. He missed me, too, and has been uncharacteristically attentive since I came home. I needed it. Now it is back to the usual, the familiar, the pleasantly mundane. Relief . . .

Macro Photography

I am getting entranced with it. In these super close ups, we go beyond to see the beauty that we cannot see with our own limited human vision. Here is one of my favorite flowers. Why? Because before long it will be a delicious tomato, a long awaited summer delicacy.

Stuart's Yucca Plant

About five years ago, Stuart and Paige were moving and brought a yucca plant from their yard to plant in our yard. When I went to the backyard today, I saw that for the first time it has produced a spire that goes way over my head that holds some lovely white flowers. Here are some photos. Everything is beautiful in its own time.